What should an American guy do to start courting a woman from the Philippines?

It may be easy for an American guy to be attracted to a woman from the Philippines, but getting her to fall in love with you may be far easier said than done. There are many barriers to courting a Filipina and these conflicts have to be dealt with properly if you want a serious, long, and lasting relationship.

Filipino American Sam Milby with Filipina Judy Ann Santos
Filipino American Sam Milby with Filipina Judy Ann Santos (TV Series “Huwag Ka Lang Mawawala”)

Among the major issues are the differences in culture, the very thing that defines a country. Culture is what’s unique to a particular country, so it’s definitely a huge challenge to break through this barrier.  Although you are not expected to adapt yourself to the Filipino culture, you need to, at the very least, respect it. But first of all, you must familiarize yourself with the Filipino culture. That only makes sense, doesn’t it? What is the FIlipino culture, and how does it differ from the American culture?

Going over some materials on the web, you’ll discover that generally, Filipino women:

1)  are very attached to their families. It’s often the case that even married Filipinos still live under one roof with their families. So when planning to court a Filipino girl, expect to involve her family in the entire process. Get to know, not only her, but her siblings, parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, and so on.

2) are religious.  The Philipines is, by and large, a Catholic nation. So don’t be surprised if the woman you want to date is Catholic. If that’s the case, and you’re not, just be sure to show respect to her religious beliefs. And even if you feel strongly about your religion, don’t force her to change hers.

3) have a deep respect for the elderly. Americans usually call the elderly by their first names, but Filipinos regard them with more respect. If you are “meeting the parents” for the first time, address the mom and dad as “Ma’am” and “Sir”, respectively. A more formal approach is to call them Mrs. or Mr. so and so, but don’t talk to them on a first-name basis, unless that’s what they really want.

4) are conservative. Western influences may be apparent in the way modern Filipinas dress and act, but many Filipinas are still pretty much conservative. So don’t criticize or don’t be turned off when you see your Filipino girl not in a revealing outfit. And don’t expect that your first date will end up in bed as that is not very likely to happen.

There are also communication barriers that you need to address if you want to start courting a woman from the Philippines. Filipinas are generally educated and smart people, and many of them, in fact, have strong English communication skills, but always give due consideration to the fact that Filipino is still her primary language.

Keeping these in mind, you need to show utmost sincerity to the Filipino woman of your dreams. If are meeting online, it is important that you keep this up, but it is just as important to make time and effort to meet her and her family personally. True, America is miles away from the Philippines, and you’ll be needing a lot of money for plane fare, little souvenirs for everyone, and other essentials, but going through such trouble is one of the ways you can prove that you really are sincere.

An American guy has to be true to her, as well as to himself. Don’t play around with her dreams because her dreams represent her future. If you think you can fool her with false promises and lies, don’t expect you can simply get away with it. The Filipina woman does not deserve to fall victim to such an act. And remember, there is such as thing as bad karma, so if you want to start courting a woman from the Philippines, make sure that your intentions are pure, to begin with.

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