There are discussions on multiple web sites, in English web circles and Chinese web circles both, about how the expectations of Chinese women is absurdly high. This is a phenomenon that isn’t often found among Western women, and is usually considered ‘spoiled’ in the West. What is an unsatisfactory trait under western culture has been adopted and evolved by Chinese women to become a relatively common occurrence. There are varying degrees of this phenomena but it is imperative that you be able to identify and handle it when dating Chinese women.
Why Are Chinese Women’s Expectations So excessive?There are various arguments about why Chinese women generally have this sense of entitlement and there are two that really stick out to me.
The first reason is the environment Chinese women were raised in raised their expectations. Nowadays, most Chinese women spent their childhood years in a single-child household under Mao’s One-Child Policy. They had two parents providing them with their undivided attention, and indeed received all of the attention they wanted from birth until their early adulthood.
Second is a post-Mao era “vacuum” around the role of girls in a modern world. Women were left with considerably more power than they previously had but didn’t exactly know what to do with it.
That is where we get many strong and independent Chinese females who emulate Western women. The matter, however, is that their role is still very ambiguous, and more and more Chinese girls desire to emulate the ‘kawaii’ Japanese high school girl, or the typical poor-but-adorable girls of K-drama. Either way, the end result is pretty similar, Chinese women expect the world of their better half.
Sajiao is an interesting concept in Chinese that roughly means having a tantrum. Sajiao is when a girl (or a boy) throws a tantrum and whines and complains to obtain what she wants. It is almost always a playful act, but can also reflect someone who is legitimately spoiled. If you date Chinese women, you will discover a sajiao fit at least once.
How can you appeal to a Chinese Woman’s demands?In addition to knowing that a lot is going to be expected of you, you ought to throw out your own sense of entitlement. Chinese women are often very polite and courteous, but don’t expect a considerable amount of thank-you’s or gestures in return for the things you do. Even something such as helping her move apartments, which is quite an ordeal, may not get you a considerable amount of appreciation.
Chinese women just won’t necessarily verbally recognize the things you do for her, she takes them as a given. Just remain respectful, because while she may not outwardly express her appreciation, she definitely tallies up everything you do on her behalf.